i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
