Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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