It's just like the Real World with babies
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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