so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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