You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
