you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
