i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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