just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
