no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
