that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
