I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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