i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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