i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
