I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
