remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
