I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
