Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
