i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
