redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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