just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
is it fun? or sober?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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