Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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