If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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