i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
