roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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