words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
