I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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