guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
