No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
