I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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