shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
