I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
