Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
