I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
