I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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