I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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