i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
