butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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