My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
