just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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