Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
