I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Did I show you my penis last night?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
