Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
my being single is dangerous.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Damn victory sex feels great
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
