sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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