the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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