Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
