i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
