Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
