honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
