Say something about gay babies.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
