I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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